Love Thy Self

My Black is Beautiful

I would like to say that I am African American. Throughout this essay I may only say African, and it is because I am talking to all Africans and African descendants around the world.

My fellow Africans… not all but majority is not as honored about their heritage as they should be. Why? Why is it that everyone else can praise their own heritage except for us? We are, to be quite honest, the most exotic, the strongest, and the most wanted ethnic group ever. Why can’t we be happy about that? Well, let me tell you why I think we think that way and why we need to change this mentality.

  

When you think of the word exotic you think of some foreign beauty. Well baby, you can’t get more foreign than being African. No one looks like us and to show any of our qualities you have to have some part of our bloodline in yours. Our shades range from the bluest of black to damn near Caucasian. Our hair is amazing…. I can talk about that for days. We can do so much with our hair; we can fro it out. We can wear it curly. We can even straighten it. However, our culture does this thing called “relaxing”. I think this is so damaging to our hair, but with society’s view on what is beauty; we first started this torturous process because we felt it was needed to feel pretty. This is the furthest from the truth. However we have been doing it for so long that we have forgotten how to handle our virgin hair and now we relax for the convenience. We relax because it’s what we know and what is easier. I hate to hear a female say, “Oh, natural isn’t for everybody.” No, that’s the kind of thing society loves to hear. An African rejecting the gifts God gave them. I just respond with, “No, Everyone isn’t for natural. If you are too lazy to learn how to care for your natural hair then yes you would have a hard time being natural.” If you took the time to learn your hair you could end up simply washing your hair, giving it a quick squeeze and shake and be headed out the door. By all means if getting your hair relaxed is what you like then go ahead it is just hair. The point I’m trying to make is that we shouldn’t use it as a crutch to look pretty. From birth we were given a rare gift and we should accept that.

  

Side Bar: One year I had taken a trip to New Orleans during Essence Festival and I was talking to my friend. She was telling me how she needs a perm to get her hair light and flowy like the woman sitting next to me. I looked at the woman. Her hair was straight and thick. It was about shoulder length or a little longer with highlights. I glanced back at my friend and simply said, “She’s natural.” My friend did not believe me so me being the type of person I am I asked the woman and she only proved my assumption. I thanked her for telling me and that ended my conversation with my friend.

I would like to say that I am not bashing other ethnicities but more like empowering my own. In saying that I am not fully aware of others struggles, but with the knowledge I have of my own we have got to be one of the strongest if not the strongest race ever.  We went from being seen as products and treated worse than stray dogs to being CEO’s of fortune 500 companies… Hell we have a president, who claims his African side, of that same country that kidnapped us from our homeland and enslaved us for more than 300 years. If we as Africans can’t be proud of that, then what can we do to make ourselves happy. So many died for us so that we can see this day and yet because we loathe… and feel so ashamed of our heritage it is like we just take that for granted. I feel like sometimes our people feel as though we do not deserve better.  It is like we have been beat down for so long that we have to do it to ourselves to feel like it’s the norm, and then we blame it on society. We pass this on to our children and don’t even know it. We then look at the next generation and shake our heads at them, but instead of criticizing we need to inform. As mothers and fathers if you teach them that life has dealt them a bad hand, growing up African American, don’t you think they are going to feel as though they have nothing to lose, so they might as well play? Well, we have everything to lose. Our ancestors built this country. Our ancestors fought for you to see a better tomorrow. They gave you the wings and for heaven’s sake use them and FLY. You deserve so much more than you expect. If where you are is not giving you the knowledge you need to succeed then you go seek it. Your ancestors showed that they had the power to deal with the cruelest life imaginable for a human being. We don’t have that shackle now, and with the strength we were given at birth we should feel limitless.

Society also has us thinking that if you are African you are ugly… undesirable. Have you taken a really good look at yourself lately? You are beautiful. Our men are strong and powerful. When I see an African man I think of a sexy warrior. If you have ever watched Everybody Hates Chris you will remember the teacher, who believed the “black” stereotypes, secretly coveted African men. I bet if she was not raised with those beliefs she would have definitely dated one.  In real life, that is how a lot of people think. Our African women ooze sex appeal; we are goddesses and the most desired females and don’t even know it. Have you noticed the trend of lip plumping and booty injecting. These are our God given attributes and while people are paying thousands of dollars to get it; they are also ostracizing us for it. We need to realize that we are coveted and walk with our heads held high. The same society that’s telling you to be ashamed of who you are secretly wants you. We have to change that. We have to see our self-worth and believe in it. Give that praise and those secrets will surely come out the closet.

I am not the arrogant type. I just had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that society has painted this bleak picture of our people, and we have been falling for it for years. We have to remember that we come from a land where we too had kings and queens and they were African.  Their skin was just like ours and their smile was big and wide because of it. We have to remember that we are exotic, we are strong, and we are wanted. Once we realize that we will be unstoppable.

Word from Ash:

This has really been on my heart to write, and I have been wanting to for the longest. It's just that I've heard so many talk about how much they want to be another race and I feel that you were put where God intended you to be. I feel so powerful being of African descent and I don't know how so many feel that this is the worst you can be. I did not want to get into the light vs. dark skin thing, because at the end of the day we are all Africans and we should be as one. Forget what you have heard and seen on radio and television. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in God's eyes we are all beautiful. 

What do you think? Do you love your ethnicity? I would like to really know your thoughts.

Thanks for Reading :)

Kinky Curlys Knot Today Leave-in Conditioner and Kinky Curlys Curling Custard

Kinky-Curly Knot Today Leave-in Conditioner

AH-MAZING. I'm not even going to do this in my regular list style. I'm going to tell you I love this stuff. Like   really, the slip is awesome and the texture is good. I say good as in it isn't some runny mess. I either regularly wash my hair or co-wash it, but it is automatically followed with KCKT. It makes my hair feel so lush, it's crazy. I probably use two quarter size amounts in my hair. I  only use this much because my hair is super thick and it helps my hair become so manageable.

However... the price is horrible. I consider myself  a frugal person, especially if it is my money. The price at Target is $11.99. On top of that it is 8oz. From research a lot of people put this in a spray bottle and mix it with water to stretch it out. Soooooooooo, that is what I plan to do.

Will I buy this product again? Yes, I definitely would. After reading this hair book (I will post it after I have completely read it) I found that my hair would greatly appreciate it if I found some staple products. In saying that KCKT has been the first leave-in my hair has really loved. And because I will be buying this again I will recommend this product too. My only request is that if you find a vendor with a cheaper price please please please tell me;) Thank you in advance.

Kinky-Curly Curling Custard

I will be honest I have a love and hate relationship with this stuff. I heart what it does. It seriously defines my curls. It makes them pop. A little goes a loooooooooong way so the life of this product (the way I use it anyway) will be very long. Before I bought this product I did my research on it and from almost ALL reviews it says you HAVE to use KCCC with KCKT. Kudos to Kinky-Curly; they knew exactly what they were doing when they did this. With that being said when I plan to use KCCC I make sure I have used KCKT first. I also double this product as an sealant. I figured with it being a gel and it providing some hold that would be a good idea. But if you think the KCKT makes your curls pop KCCC really makes your curls POP. I mean POP POP POPPIN *In my Teddy from ATL voice"

When using this product it's like a science experiment. You have to be really precise in the amount you use or you will get a clumpy.... but pretty... mess on your hands. Another drawback is the texture. It has like this goopy feel to it that make me always.... and I mean always.... have to run my fingers over the rim to remove the excess product from my fingers. The last con to this product is... you guessed it.... the price. At Target this product costs a whopping $16.99 and it is also 8oz. like its counterpart. The difference is like I said before it is going to have a long life.

I have really been wanting to use these two products since the beginning of the summer before last. The pricing made me hesitant and the fact that only Target sells it in my area doesn't make it any better. How I use them together is I regularly wash my hair and then I put the KCKT on my palm and rub it into my hair. I massage my scalp and then I comb my hair to distribute evenly. Following that I do the same with KCCC. My hair is also soaking wet when I use these products.

Will I buy KCCC again.... mmmmmm maybe. Only cause the life may be that long for me. Do I recommend it? Absolutely. If you can obviously see your curl pattern, but you have a lot of frizz when it is dry then KCCC if for you.

So What is your fav. leave-in.... How do you get your curls to pop?

Back In Action

Dark room but bright vibes.

Sorry For The Wait

Okay Ladies and Gentlemen. I owe you guys a BIIIIIG apology. I know I didn't start off with a lot of posts in the beginning and then I just stopped all together. But I'm back and bigger than ever... AND I brought along new posts and more natural recipes.

But first...

I would like to catch you all up on my life... and HAAAAAIIIIIIIIR!!!! Good news!!! I have put in motion my plans to move to Florida. Bad news... I have to wait til the end of my school's semester. So, I have set the move out date to be April 29th. YAY! There I hope to start beauty school. Over the last couple of years I have felt that my life has been at a stand still. I have felt that I was less than motivated for school and I had wished and tried to change it, but at the end of the day I was not being true to myself and only trying to please other to graduate from a four year institute. Over the past summer I fell in love with everything hair and even started cashing in on the hobby. After a conversation with my mom I came to the conclusion that I would rather be attending a beauty school. There is a lot more that I need to learn and can benefit from there. Moving to Florida is just a bonus. I've missed it for a year and now I can go back and stay.

My Hair...

So since my disappearance I have had a huge trim that took an inch or two... all for the health of my hair. Now it has been sew-in ready... which is how it is now. By the way... I measured some of my hair and found out that I'm at an almost whopping 5in. I'm happy to say the least.


So you guys, please forgive me and let me know some of your carpe diem moments you are having right now.

So You Mad That You Can't Have Definition AND Elongation?



Here is a pet peeve of mine... Complaints about wanting to define curls and elongate them... *in my 2Chains voice* at the same damn time. *in wash and go's WnGs*

Well, let me sing you the songe of my people. That is unlikely to happen. I do understand where the thought comes from. When I was in transition looking at my natural hair I was like "I wish my pattern was more defined." and in the same breathe I would stretch it out and say "Wish it would show its length too." Sounds crazy, but I know I'm not the only one who has done that. Fast forward months and countless hair research and blog surfing I realized... this is unrealistic. So when I sit and see those same comments I have to say to myself... "Ash, you have been there. They probably just don't know what the terms really mean." So if you care to know, I'm going to give my best definition of the to words.

DEFINE/DEFINITION... of the curl

To define a curl's pattern is to have a stronger more visible natural solid curl pattern. Also little to no frizz. I think to define your curls ultimately means there will be shrinkage.

Elongation

Simply Put.. longer looking hair. I think to obtain elongation is going to mean less defined hair.

 

Final Thoughts

 

Definition and Elongation in a WnG cannot be obtained at the sametime. However while conquering one or the other you may be able to defeat the battle with frizz also.

Length/Growth Challenge





 

 <---- The day after my BC... Yes, I'm in love with my hair and we have an awesome relationship... lol.

It seems to me that there are a lot of people (male female natural relaxed) going crazy about hair length. Or maybe they are just concerned that their hair isn't growing. Truth is... YES... your hair is growing. On average hair grows about 1/2in. So in other words, some may grow faster, some grow slower, and others grow right on schedule. Other factors that will dictate your growth rate is physical and emotional health, a clean scalp, and chemicals. How you handle and care for your hair will also contribute to if that length is retained.

 

On top of that, there are pills and regimines that say they promote hair growth. Honestly, I dont believe there is nothing in the world that can MAKE your hair grow faster. However, I do believe that SOME of these "adventures" can help promote the health of your scalp and hair, and in turn that can contribute to growth. Again, it will ony be noticable if you retain that length. So in saying this, here are some steps to help you properly keep up with your hair growth. (With side notes on retention tips.)

 

 

1. PATIENCE IS KEY. This is a lengthy challenge. Its not going to be two months and done... unless your goal is just to see the rate at which your hair grows. That is cool. But if your goal is to see or promote growth and retain it... it is going to take time. To really (and I mean REALLY) keep track with your hair this is going to be 5 months to a year challenge.

 

2. SCHEDULE A LENGTH CHECK. If you don't have a scheduled length check you may find yourself in front of a mirror ruler in one hand, hair in another, every week. Checking every week is going to leave you depressed. I don't believe you can successfully check your hair so much and still feel uplifted. SOOOOOOO... I say check the first day of your challenge and then wait a month (i.e. the first of the month, every 3rd Sunday, etc) to check... and then another month to check and so on and so on.

 

3. DO NOT STRESS. Stress creates shedding and breakage and no one wants that. Love and nurture your hair and it will love you back.

 

4. START OFF WITH A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING. Do a length check the first day of the challenge. If you plan to use anything that says it will promote your hair growth, WAIT! Use and continue with your regular activities for the first month. This way when you do your second length check you will have an idea as to the rate your hair has been growing.

 

5. CONSISTENCY. Keep up with your new routine (if any) for atleast a month or two, because these things take time. Some also may have a negative effect before it gets good. Consistency is a must for positive results. You may not see any change in the beginning and if you throw it out the window you may never see it.

 

6. HAVE A REALISTIC GOAL. Realistic short term goals will have a better effect on you (HAIR WISE) more than outlandish or long term goals. For example shoot for an inch of growth in three months.

 

Ash

 

Honey Be Deep Conditioner

Hair Looking a Little Thirsty?.... Me Too, Girl.

So I needed to wash my hiar... but I had no deep conditioner. For me, whenever my I wash my hair it looks super thirsty... super dry. I hate it and without deep conditioner it looks even worse. However, I was looking online the night before at hair recipes including honey. I also knew that I had a full bottle of One n' Only's Keratin Conditioner. So I took an empty 8oz. container I had and covered the bottom with a thick layer of the conditioner. I figured the honey would stick to the bottom and make it hard to stir evenly. I then added a thin layer of honey ontop of the conditioner. I repeated this process til the container was filled. I stirred the mixture til it was one solid colored.

I washed my hair as I normally do. By the way, I wash my hair in plaits. I find it helps train my hair for the twist out pattern I like, and it also helps finger detangle easier. After, I rinsed out my regular conditioner and detangled I put in my deep conditioner and put a baggy over my head for 30mins. Afterwards, I rinsed it out in lukewarm water.

Now usually my hair looks thirsty... even while  soaking wet, but this time my curlies were really defined and even as it was drying my hair looked really hydrated. On top of that my hair was super soft. I loved it, and even more my hair loved it. Sorry for the long intro but here is a step by step instruction on how I acheived hydrated hair:

First you will need:

Honey -Not much really. Most say to use natural honey; you can get it at an herb store. But my time was limited and so were my pockets so I used what I had.

Regular Conditioner - This is suppose to take the place of a deep conditioner if you find yourself without. I would also recommend you have atleast half a bottle left.

An empty 8oz. container

And something to stir the mix

For every part honey you use use 2 parts of regular condtioner. Stir together til it's one solid color. Follow your regular hair wash regimen and use the mix as a deep conditioner. Leave in for 30mins covered and then rinse out with lukewarm water.

Enjoy,
Ashley

By the way... this is the  conditioner I used.