Love Thy Self

My Black is Beautiful

I would like to say that I am African American. Throughout this essay I may only say African, and it is because I am talking to all Africans and African descendants around the world.

My fellow Africans… not all but majority is not as honored about their heritage as they should be. Why? Why is it that everyone else can praise their own heritage except for us? We are, to be quite honest, the most exotic, the strongest, and the most wanted ethnic group ever. Why can’t we be happy about that? Well, let me tell you why I think we think that way and why we need to change this mentality.

  

When you think of the word exotic you think of some foreign beauty. Well baby, you can’t get more foreign than being African. No one looks like us and to show any of our qualities you have to have some part of our bloodline in yours. Our shades range from the bluest of black to damn near Caucasian. Our hair is amazing…. I can talk about that for days. We can do so much with our hair; we can fro it out. We can wear it curly. We can even straighten it. However, our culture does this thing called “relaxing”. I think this is so damaging to our hair, but with society’s view on what is beauty; we first started this torturous process because we felt it was needed to feel pretty. This is the furthest from the truth. However we have been doing it for so long that we have forgotten how to handle our virgin hair and now we relax for the convenience. We relax because it’s what we know and what is easier. I hate to hear a female say, “Oh, natural isn’t for everybody.” No, that’s the kind of thing society loves to hear. An African rejecting the gifts God gave them. I just respond with, “No, Everyone isn’t for natural. If you are too lazy to learn how to care for your natural hair then yes you would have a hard time being natural.” If you took the time to learn your hair you could end up simply washing your hair, giving it a quick squeeze and shake and be headed out the door. By all means if getting your hair relaxed is what you like then go ahead it is just hair. The point I’m trying to make is that we shouldn’t use it as a crutch to look pretty. From birth we were given a rare gift and we should accept that.

  

Side Bar: One year I had taken a trip to New Orleans during Essence Festival and I was talking to my friend. She was telling me how she needs a perm to get her hair light and flowy like the woman sitting next to me. I looked at the woman. Her hair was straight and thick. It was about shoulder length or a little longer with highlights. I glanced back at my friend and simply said, “She’s natural.” My friend did not believe me so me being the type of person I am I asked the woman and she only proved my assumption. I thanked her for telling me and that ended my conversation with my friend.

I would like to say that I am not bashing other ethnicities but more like empowering my own. In saying that I am not fully aware of others struggles, but with the knowledge I have of my own we have got to be one of the strongest if not the strongest race ever.  We went from being seen as products and treated worse than stray dogs to being CEO’s of fortune 500 companies… Hell we have a president, who claims his African side, of that same country that kidnapped us from our homeland and enslaved us for more than 300 years. If we as Africans can’t be proud of that, then what can we do to make ourselves happy. So many died for us so that we can see this day and yet because we loathe… and feel so ashamed of our heritage it is like we just take that for granted. I feel like sometimes our people feel as though we do not deserve better.  It is like we have been beat down for so long that we have to do it to ourselves to feel like it’s the norm, and then we blame it on society. We pass this on to our children and don’t even know it. We then look at the next generation and shake our heads at them, but instead of criticizing we need to inform. As mothers and fathers if you teach them that life has dealt them a bad hand, growing up African American, don’t you think they are going to feel as though they have nothing to lose, so they might as well play? Well, we have everything to lose. Our ancestors built this country. Our ancestors fought for you to see a better tomorrow. They gave you the wings and for heaven’s sake use them and FLY. You deserve so much more than you expect. If where you are is not giving you the knowledge you need to succeed then you go seek it. Your ancestors showed that they had the power to deal with the cruelest life imaginable for a human being. We don’t have that shackle now, and with the strength we were given at birth we should feel limitless.

Society also has us thinking that if you are African you are ugly… undesirable. Have you taken a really good look at yourself lately? You are beautiful. Our men are strong and powerful. When I see an African man I think of a sexy warrior. If you have ever watched Everybody Hates Chris you will remember the teacher, who believed the “black” stereotypes, secretly coveted African men. I bet if she was not raised with those beliefs she would have definitely dated one.  In real life, that is how a lot of people think. Our African women ooze sex appeal; we are goddesses and the most desired females and don’t even know it. Have you noticed the trend of lip plumping and booty injecting. These are our God given attributes and while people are paying thousands of dollars to get it; they are also ostracizing us for it. We need to realize that we are coveted and walk with our heads held high. The same society that’s telling you to be ashamed of who you are secretly wants you. We have to change that. We have to see our self-worth and believe in it. Give that praise and those secrets will surely come out the closet.

I am not the arrogant type. I just had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that society has painted this bleak picture of our people, and we have been falling for it for years. We have to remember that we come from a land where we too had kings and queens and they were African.  Their skin was just like ours and their smile was big and wide because of it. We have to remember that we are exotic, we are strong, and we are wanted. Once we realize that we will be unstoppable.

Word from Ash:

This has really been on my heart to write, and I have been wanting to for the longest. It's just that I've heard so many talk about how much they want to be another race and I feel that you were put where God intended you to be. I feel so powerful being of African descent and I don't know how so many feel that this is the worst you can be. I did not want to get into the light vs. dark skin thing, because at the end of the day we are all Africans and we should be as one. Forget what you have heard and seen on radio and television. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in God's eyes we are all beautiful. 

What do you think? Do you love your ethnicity? I would like to really know your thoughts.

Thanks for Reading :)

Kinky Curlys Knot Today Leave-in Conditioner and Kinky Curlys Curling Custard

Kinky-Curly Knot Today Leave-in Conditioner

AH-MAZING. I'm not even going to do this in my regular list style. I'm going to tell you I love this stuff. Like   really, the slip is awesome and the texture is good. I say good as in it isn't some runny mess. I either regularly wash my hair or co-wash it, but it is automatically followed with KCKT. It makes my hair feel so lush, it's crazy. I probably use two quarter size amounts in my hair. I  only use this much because my hair is super thick and it helps my hair become so manageable.

However... the price is horrible. I consider myself  a frugal person, especially if it is my money. The price at Target is $11.99. On top of that it is 8oz. From research a lot of people put this in a spray bottle and mix it with water to stretch it out. Soooooooooo, that is what I plan to do.

Will I buy this product again? Yes, I definitely would. After reading this hair book (I will post it after I have completely read it) I found that my hair would greatly appreciate it if I found some staple products. In saying that KCKT has been the first leave-in my hair has really loved. And because I will be buying this again I will recommend this product too. My only request is that if you find a vendor with a cheaper price please please please tell me;) Thank you in advance.

Kinky-Curly Curling Custard

I will be honest I have a love and hate relationship with this stuff. I heart what it does. It seriously defines my curls. It makes them pop. A little goes a loooooooooong way so the life of this product (the way I use it anyway) will be very long. Before I bought this product I did my research on it and from almost ALL reviews it says you HAVE to use KCCC with KCKT. Kudos to Kinky-Curly; they knew exactly what they were doing when they did this. With that being said when I plan to use KCCC I make sure I have used KCKT first. I also double this product as an sealant. I figured with it being a gel and it providing some hold that would be a good idea. But if you think the KCKT makes your curls pop KCCC really makes your curls POP. I mean POP POP POPPIN *In my Teddy from ATL voice"

When using this product it's like a science experiment. You have to be really precise in the amount you use or you will get a clumpy.... but pretty... mess on your hands. Another drawback is the texture. It has like this goopy feel to it that make me always.... and I mean always.... have to run my fingers over the rim to remove the excess product from my fingers. The last con to this product is... you guessed it.... the price. At Target this product costs a whopping $16.99 and it is also 8oz. like its counterpart. The difference is like I said before it is going to have a long life.

I have really been wanting to use these two products since the beginning of the summer before last. The pricing made me hesitant and the fact that only Target sells it in my area doesn't make it any better. How I use them together is I regularly wash my hair and then I put the KCKT on my palm and rub it into my hair. I massage my scalp and then I comb my hair to distribute evenly. Following that I do the same with KCCC. My hair is also soaking wet when I use these products.

Will I buy KCCC again.... mmmmmm maybe. Only cause the life may be that long for me. Do I recommend it? Absolutely. If you can obviously see your curl pattern, but you have a lot of frizz when it is dry then KCCC if for you.

So What is your fav. leave-in.... How do you get your curls to pop?